Jared and Bailey

“Before meeting with Tom and Ruth Ann Robinson for premarital mentoring, we were never against premarital counseling/mentoring but we also did not understand the true importance. We were a bit nervous before our meetings because we did not know what to expect or if we would be “good enough” or “ready” to get married. We thought of premarital counseling more as something that only certain people that had issues in their relationships needed to attend. But even after our first meeting with Tom and Ruth Ann, we quickly realized how amazing this journey was about to be and what an important piece this was to our marriage. By the end of our meetings, we knew that this premarital mentoring allowed us to grow stronger in our relationship, to face some of the challenging areas of our relationship with guidance from professionals, to set a strong foundation for the amazing journey of marriage together and also gave us two extraordinary mentors that we now know we can count on for life.

One of the things that we found most valuable about each meeting was that there was never pressure. As a couple it can feel like you are about to be judged when you go to counseling but Tom and Ruth Ann made it extremely clear from the beginning that there would be no judgement and it was an open and safe place to be honest. They always allowed us to share how we felt and made us feel more than comfortable. We also valued each prayer that the meetings began and ended with. It allowed us to relax and begin on a solid note as well as end our meetings on a good note even if it was a heavy meeting.

As a couple, we have 100% seen many changes in our relationship since attending premarital mentoring. We have very open communication as it is, but Tom and Ruth Ann taught us so much more regarding communication. One thing that will stick with us forever is key words to not use when having a disagreement. Words such as “you” or “always” or “never” were some of the words we discussed. This had never crossed our minds until we talked about it in a meeting and how it can be very hurtful and demeaning towards the other person. Using this strategy has allowed us to communicate in a much more loving way even if we are disagreeing about something and to listen to what the other has to say. Another change that we have seen in our relationship is that we have grown closer in many ways. The biggest piece of advice that we were given was to pray together. We now pray out loud together every single night even if it is very quick. At the beginning it could be a bit awkward speaking out loud, but now it really draws us closer to one another and has made our relationship so much stronger.

To someone who is unsure about premarital counseling I would say try it! This is something that cannot hurt in any way and I would recommend to every single couple that I know. You may have what you see as a “perfect” relationship or you may think there is nothing you need to change, you may be worried about feeling judged. These are all valid thoughts, but Tom and Ruth Ann are mentors that are available for any couple in any situation. They are 100% non-judgmental and will help even an almost perfect relationship become even better. This mentoring gives you such a strong foundation to start a marriage on and a couple that is willing to be there for you for the rest of your life, what more could you want! Marriage is so amazing and rewarding but no doubt can be tough. This mentoring will keep your relationship strong from the day you say I do to forever, and there is nothing more important.”